This is the first blog that was not planned of or really thought of until now. At this moment im stealing some internet from outside a Thai school near where we are staying. haha As I was sitting here listening to some Angus and Julia Stone my mind began to wander. So im going to write about where it wandered.

There are so many books, movies, pastors, schools, professors, and people who seem to have the truths about God figured out.  I've heard preachers base their whole belief on what Revelations talks about on the Left Behind movies.  I've heard pastors preach whole sermons on Hell and how if you don't tell your friends about Jesus and convert them than their blood is completely on your hands. I've heard Pastor's say that if Jesus drank an alcoholic beverage than He wasn't his God.  I've heard people say that certain authors or pastors are heretics and imposters for saying or writing the things they did. In my almost 19 years on this earth I have heard a lot of sermons and a lot of personal beliefs on what people think Scripture is saying.  Something I have really began to desire from God, lately, is wisdom and discernment to know what is truth and what is not.  I don't want to hear a Pastor say something from a pulpit and believe it 100% because it was a pastor that said it.  I believe we get ourselves in heaps of trouble when we live according to what people tell us is true without questioning or really thinking about what is being said. Lately I've gotten this strong desire and thirst to know what is true and to find my own beliefs and hold on to them.  However, I have found myself getting really discouraged with how many questions I have and how many "I don't knows" I have about God.  But what a beautiful thing it is to have a God with some many mysteries!  Although it is frustrating, and I believe it will be for every Christian at some point or many points in their life, it is awesome to have a God that is so amazing and awesome that we can't figure all His plans and ways out.  However, There is something about our God that is soooo true we can't deny it in any case, and that is that He loves each and every one of us.  He loves us so much. so so sooo much. That is something that God did not in any way want to leave as a mystery to His creation. The Bible is interpretted in so many ways, but one thing we see over and over again is that our God love us no matter what. We can not earn this love.  We can not get out of this love. That is just how our God is. 

I still have a thirst and desire for truth, and I believe that it is good to have that thirst.  But if we can keep ourselves from gettting caught up in this thirst and just learn to fall into the loving arms of our amazing God every day, then we will be right where He wants us to be.  Following God is not a climb. It's a fall. 

For God so LOVED the world that He gave his only son.....  

                     - John 3:16