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Daily my walk with God is challenged either by books I’m reading, my teammates/leaders, or thoughts and realizations I have.   One thing that I have learned is that I need God to want and love God. I do not know why I’m just learning this crazy truth, but I guess God was just waiting for the right time in my life to show me that.  Let me explain a little about what I mean.  Throughout this trip I have found myself many times lying in bed at night in deep thought about why I simply don’t want God very much.  It may sound harsh, but I’m just being honest.  Of course I love God and have chosen to serve Him by going on this trip, but sometimes it’s hard to want or to really love God.  It frustrated me beyond belief that I was on the mission field serving Him daily by showing others His love, and I did not exactly want God the way I felt I should.  I was trying to think of solutions to my problem.  Maybe I just have to get in His Word more? Maybe there is too much sin in my life? Maybe I’m just doing something totally wrong? If you notice in every one of those questions I was asking myself, the solution was always what I could do to change it.  Oh, how I was blown away when I found out that I actually need God to want God more, and I need God to love Him more.  I still struggle with simply not wanting God as much as I should a lot, but to know I’m not on my own in that struggle but that God is along side of me helping me to want Him more is soooooo comforting.   If you’re just honest with yourself and realize you’re having a hard time truly loving God and wanting to do what He has for you, let this be your simple prayer: “God I realize that I need you to help me want you, and I need you to help me love you more.  Please help me fall more in love with you. Amen.”

6 responses to “fallin in love”

  1. haha He is so good! ya they’re definitely hard. thank you so much for the prayer!
    love ya too!

  2. Cody, I really look forward to your blogs. I love your honesty. Its makes me think of my own relationship with God and what I could do myself to love Him more. Thanks for your thoughts. Sue

  3. Hey 3- havn’t said that in awhile!

    It has been so great to talk with you by phone these few times and to hear the excitement of all the great things happening. Great things are happening all around you and within you! We are always rewarded when we are brutally honest with ourselves and with God and surprisingly there can be joy in the tension. I know that you have been giving some thought to your future after the trip. Read, memorize and claim Psalm 37:3-7a during this process. Also, don’t miss out on the “now”! Love you and miss you!

    Dad

    P.S. All is well with your business back here. Most of the lawns are every other week now for which I am grateful for. haha

  4. dear mrs. haas thank you so much for your commit and thoughts!

    dear pops, you get anything hunting? lol and ill definitely check out the verses. love you and miss you too! and good to know about the lawns (:

  5. Man, you are so cool. God is so good. Sometimes realizations are hard, eh? I’ll be praying for you as you figure out what God wants for you. Love you bro!