Daily my walk with God is challenged either by books I’m reading, my teammates/leaders, or thoughts and realizations I have.   One thing that I have learned is that I need God to want and love God. I do not know why I’m just learning this crazy truth, but I guess God was just waiting for the right time in my life to show me that.  Let me explain a little about what I mean.  Throughout this trip I have found myself many times lying in bed at night in deep thought about why I simply don’t want God very much.  It may sound harsh, but I’m just being honest.  Of course I love God and have chosen to serve Him by going on this trip, but sometimes it’s hard to want or to really love God.  It frustrated me beyond belief that I was on the mission field serving Him daily by showing others His love, and I did not exactly want God the way I felt I should.  I was trying to think of solutions to my problem.  Maybe I just have to get in His Word more? Maybe there is too much sin in my life? Maybe I’m just doing something totally wrong? If you notice in every one of those questions I was asking myself, the solution was always what I could do to change it.  Oh, how I was blown away when I found out that I actually need God to want God more, and I need God to love Him more.  I still struggle with simply not wanting God as much as I should a lot, but to know I’m not on my own in that struggle but that God is along side of me helping me to want Him more is soooooo comforting.   If you’re just honest with yourself and realize you’re having a hard time truly loving God and wanting to do what He has for you, let this be your simple prayer: “God I realize that I need you to help me want you, and I need you to help me love you more.  Please help me fall more in love with you. Amen.”